Wednesday, November 26, 2014
My Utopia ~Jo
My utopia is a quiet silent place filled with comfort where time skips. It is an exquisite place to be and a place to refill our dreams. It is a place where chastisement doesn't exist. It is a place of thinking back on our mistakes, a place that smells of lavender a place that alleviates anger and sadness. It is an innate place filled with incredulous thoughts. It is a place where people can pensive and reflect upon days and more days to come. If you are intrigued to find that place then go to that place and don't forget your blanket. (its my bed)
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I really like how you use word with descriptive detail and I also like how your describe your setting (which is your bed).
ReplyDeleteThe 1 thing you need to improve is the last sentence, you use that more than once which it confuse me the first time I read it.
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ReplyDeleteI liked how you try to use many different vocabulary from our vocabulary list to be include in the paragraph. I also liked how you describe your bed as a Utopia because it's different from other. Most of the people will describe about a Utopia society but you wrote about your bed.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that you can improve and you should is to add the feel, touch, sight, sound and taste into the paragraph.