Monday, December 1, 2014

Pain on the road....... Emma

It was 5:30 in the afternoon, when the sun was setting beautifully in the horizon. I was on my bike, and i was 12 years old. I was racing home from the park with my sitter running behind. I was going to make a left turn when i hurt an engine running from the direction i was going. It was a bit dark so i couldn't really see it. I saw a pair of yellow bright lights looking staring at me like the golden eyes of an american eagle. It was glowing brighter and brighter and it got closer and closer, then it got louder.
Then before i knew it, i wasn't on my bike anymore. When i opened my eyes, above i stared at the pipes and the steam coming out of the engine of the vehicle. Beneath me , i felt the hard and rough road, with little bumps. I look to my right and saw my bike smashed on the ground beside me. Then i look to my left, and saw a red liquid flowing on the ground as i felt a painful sting in my left arm. Then i realised, i was under the white car, as i lay there with my eyes open staring above, in shock.
I didn't know what to do, then a second later, my sitter pulled me out from under the car. My school uniform was covered in red liquid i realised was blood. I look at the deep cut from my hand to my elbow on my left arm. and a huge bruise and a cut by my ribs. My sitter helped me limp back to the house as we explained to my horrid mother what had happened. I was forced to sit on the counter in the kitchen as my mother dabs a cotton swab soaked in liquid from the aid box on my deep wound. Tears ran down my face, one after another as pain ran through my whole body. And from that moment on, i was troubled from that day on, until now

2 comments:

  1. The story is very well written and it displays an event of a car crash, but it does not show all the 5 senses I can only see the sense of sight and touch in the story.

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  2. Nice writing Emma I agree with Hannah that there are only a few scenes but very well written and very you know understandable like I understood what happened in like once that really good.

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