It was a usual day in school; the bell rang ringing my eardrums as everyone thundered through the exit doorway. The smell of friendship oozed from the usual table in the canteen. I went over to sit hearing a whole lot of chatter from the other tables in the canteen giving off a similar feel of the tweeting of birds under the canopy. Then, I sense the smell of home made bread from one of the friends in the group. She handed one to me; I thanked her and bit into the fresh bread filled with a feeling of care, the taste of red bean and- what? Something white was in the filling too soft and sweet: white chocolate. The bread filled my heart with gentle sweetness and love as I got ready for my next class, pumped up with energy.
Kwan you did a great job on the sound that of the bell. I also like how you describe the taste of your bread.
ReplyDelete1 thin I want you to improve is to use vocabulary word if possible.
Your writing is very descriptive and you did a great job on the 5 senses, but the sentence where you wrote "The smell of friendship oozed from the usual table in the canteen." doesnt make any sense You cant smell friendship you feel or see it.
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