Monday, December 1, 2014
Cyber Bully Memory
Black letters flashing across the screen, launching an attack of rumors and insults. I gasped for a breeze between my sobs. Tears from my moist eyes streamed down my cheeks. I wouldn't blame anyone, I've been a bully and being bullied. This is all past, and hasn't really affected who I am right now. When I was a kid, couples of years ago, I always find excuses to come to school. I hated this place, it's the place where I feel alone, left out, and bullied. I was new to this school, a group of people I don't even know, or I don't even bother to know, started looking at me like I'm someone who doesn't belong here. I would go home everyday sitting on my bed and crying until my eyes turned red. Everyday I tried to get along with people and tried to ignore people who would make fun and harass me. In the end, I found a friend who's willing to accept me even with my flaws, I learn to ignore what they say and stuff, I guess it made me stronger.
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oooooooooohhh. I like the story's topic, its interesting and different. You also really explained how you feel about this memory, but.. You didn't use that much sensory detail (see feel taste hear smell).
ReplyDeleteThe paragraph that you just wrote is very descriptive and amazing. I can clearly understand the feeling of getting bully but you need to be adding more sensory sentence about see, feel, taste, hear and smell. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThe first part of the paragraph had some really good writing. I also could understand how you feel just by reading it. However, you might want to finish strong.
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