Monday, December 1, 2014
Memory that I have (Mue)
The best moment that I can remember in my life is when I got my Play Station 4 as my birthday present. I know its a very late present, my birthday is in June but I got it in December, but I do not really care as long as I liked it, which obviously I do, and many games that I liked are playable on it, which obviously it does. I am really happy that day, and immediately unboxed it the moment I arrived home. It was a lot nicer than my old and crappy Wii which I have it for almost 8 years. I was intrigued. It was exquisite in every way. And I still remember the very first game I played on it, and it is a very fun game that I played for so long time.
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I really like how you explain about your best day with your play station. But you can be more specific and explain about what you smelled, felled, hear? That was your challenge man!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you describe your happiness when you get your ps4. I understand how you feel because I also enjoy playing games, I suggest you should say what kinds of games you play.
ReplyDeleteI like how you are being specific about how much you care for your Play Station 4. I like how you are using the vocabulary. However, you still need to work on sensory sentence and you need to add some descriptive words. You also need to revise your paragraph. Where's your touch, smell, hear, see, etc?
ReplyDeleteI like how you use some vocabulary words. Also, I can understand how happy you were. However, you might want to use some sensory details.
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